This convo between a male passenger and a female Uber driver will crack you up
Someone's about to get laid this weekend.
Some of the world’s most eye-opening conversations happen in cabs between the driver and the passenger and this thread is proof of it.
A male passenger took to Twitter to recount a conversation he had with a female Uber Driver and it’s low-key the funniest thing ever.
Not only did he get to be driven by a hot girl, he also got schooled and possibly landed himself a romp session
Here’s how he told the story:
I took an @uber_uganda today & finally, it was a female driver yoooooo. The convo we had, let me just thread her advice #UberConvopic.twitter.com/IAz4fRrSHd
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda U knw hw MTN internet hs been acting up? Well not @Airtel_Ug & that’s why the app worked. To my surprise, it was a female driver #UberConvopic.twitter.com/isRcJUUbCw
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
From her profile picture, he knew this was gonna be a lit ride
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug “Ritah” was the name. You cud even see the snapchat filter on the pic via her uber profile , I jst knew it was going 2 b lit #UberConvopic.twitter.com/HC79GtSTYz
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug U knw hw @uber_uganda drivers call 2 ask where u r like they cnt use the map? Ritah didn’t call, she sent me a call bck message #UberConvopic.twitter.com/Nh47wmRJ2i
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Not tht I had put my hopes all the way up bt I called anyhow. She said she sent sms caz she was driving, couldnt call. I wait #UberConvopic.twitter.com/cEKWy8fTIg
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Ritah arrived wano via kibuli in her Mark X. Yes, @uber_uganda is nw using people with Mark X. Nze I didnt know but I was excited #UberConvopic.twitter.com/fgohiU5eEA
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
Uber so flyyyyy
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug This girl didn’t even nid the snapchat filter yooo, Ritah was so flyyyyy I almost told her “Let me drive u instead” walayi #UberConvopic.twitter.com/GKz4qxBcck
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Ritah: Credit or cash?
Me: Credit & lunch on me if u don’t mind
Ritah: I have a boyfriend
Me: He can get an Uber & find us 2
Her: #UberConvopic.twitter.com/yE0U4hosq5— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug She laughed it off & started the journey. I dnt knw whether it’s the Mark 2 that looked dope or it was the presence of a HOT girl #UberConvopic.twitter.com/mSt7ZzCrin
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
How do you start a convo with an uber hot babe?
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Hv u eva tried 2 start a convo with a hot girl who hs probably heard it all b4? I turned 2 the only friend I trust 4 tips, GOOGLE #UberConvopic.twitter.com/VRqeQF5cL9
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Me: So… NICE CAR
(Upper case caz I literally shouted instead of complimenting her)Her: It’s my boyfriend’s
Me: #UberConvopic.twitter.com/pVblKjP9MW— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
When Google lets you down
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Of all compliments Google offered, I chose to go with one that included her boyfriend …
God whyy???? WHY???? #UberConvopic.twitter.com/aKkblgAl72— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
But the bounce back is on
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Her: Bt thnks, I’ll take the compliment.
Me: So why UBER?
Her: Why not?? Are u 1 of those guys tht think it isnt a good job?
Me: #UberConvopic.twitter.com/5JuAa8ztkh— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug (Inner me: Bitch u hot, u cud b the 1st lady of USA if u wanted)
Me: I think it’s great 2 see a woman in any line of work
Her: #UberConvopic.twitter.com/HfWrhFi2jq— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
Brings the koko up
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Me: So is it true tht massage parlors in UG offer sex services as a bonus?
Ritah: Do u want 2 hv sex with me?
Me: What is SEX? #UberConvopic.twitter.com/gY9SMR7Shs
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug “Ritah: Its true, some offer wat they call a Platinum package”. I didnt even know the spelling of platinum but I was taking notes #UberConvopic.twitter.com/8wTMm6pDkL
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Ritah: U’ll b surprised @ wat pips will do 4 money these days. Disappointing thing is y’all think being an UBER driver is a no no #UberConvopic.twitter.com/Qngwjwm2ka
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
Stories that touch
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Ritah: I hv friends tht wud rather get money thru sex @ the parlor instead of doing Uber cz they think its beneath them
Me: #UberConvopic.twitter.com/xmeheQIM7H
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Ritah: If there is 1 thing I’ve learn’t, its tht wen it comes 2 an honest job, nothing is beneath me.
Me: And ur boyfriend? #UberConvo
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
She’s hot and got dignity
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Ritah: M the kind of girl tht will not tke money frm my guy. I’ll tke his car, but always return it with his fuel #UberConvo
Me: #UberConvopic.twitter.com/EnuhOxsgNk— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
But hold up …
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Me: Wow, ur guy must b lucky
Her: No he ain’t. His stroke game is not “Independent girl material”
Me: INDEPENDENT WAT? #UberConvopic.twitter.com/HwGIFEiSef
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
We are now naming stroke game by social statuses? Well received!
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug So wait, girls these days even rate your stroke game according to their social status?? Woooooow, we r in 2020 already #UberConvopic.twitter.com/gH05ir4ZNB
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Me: *Pulls out notepad* How exactly shud I frame my stroke game in order for it to be “Independent girl material”?? #UberConvopic.twitter.com/Ymhc7tsNqh
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Ritah: I meant if m going thru all this, the least u cn do is go down me at least twice a week
Me: I WILL GO DOWN ON U RIGHT NW #UberConvopic.twitter.com/LGWdQ9E0Gk
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
This disappointing boyfriend of hers needs strokes … of koboko!
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug This girl works 2 jobs, puts fuel in the car, dsnt ask 4 money & u wont go down on her? Disappointed in this male generation #UberConvopic.twitter.com/zNj8O94ctg
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Wulila wulila
Ritah: & which kind of man hs sex 4 only 30 mins in 2017? Thts jst wasting my resources
Inner me: Only 30 WTF? #UberConvopic.twitter.com/aNiGfTO68m
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
But Miss Hot Stuff too, only enjoying sex in the hours? Ah!
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug God what hv u done to this world?? U find an independent girl tht doesn’t ask 4 money & she wants 2 have sex in only hours #UberConvopic.twitter.com/W57wef8BRm
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Ritah: Me as me, after a long day, I need a thorough romp jst to bring me bck 2 Earth. Most independent girls r like this
Me: #UberConvopic.twitter.com/FeTVFXaQ2V
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
Well then, she would need side dish to satisfy her, right?
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug As we zeroed in 2 my destination, I advised hr 2 hv me as a sidedish. Tld hr me & hr guy wud mke a fantastic Tag team, TOGETHER!! #UberConvopic.twitter.com/jtWT3W3s1O
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
And just like that …
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Me: Seriously ur period of sex is the same time some1 tks 2 do a chemistry paper?
Ritah: Try me this weekend, mayb u’ll find out #UberConvopic.twitter.com/VbqpDgkzDO
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
.@uber_uganda @Airtel_Ug Just like tht, @uber_uganda is getting me laid this weekend. I hope I dont cum after just 10 mins becz Ritah is fineeeeee #UberConvopic.twitter.com/VgFuOa23Ci
— Patoranking (@pyepar) May 9, 2017
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